May 13, 2020 – Ask Monty Newsletter
Question: How do you convey safety and build trust?
I’m a new subscriber, Monty, and I am thoroughly enjoying reading through your Online University site, and watching the videos that are available. As well as being horse-aware, understanding and interpreting their language, I can see that you are also very human-aware! You have a restful, non-threatening way about you that allows your message to be easily heard and accepted. I am thankful to have this learning opportunity!
My question for you: in your work with PTSD sufferers, have you found that there are certain signs to look for, and body language that can be used by another person to convey safety, and to reinforce trust? A loved one lives with painful past trauma. Looking back over the years, I realize that at times the storm passes over quickly, and at other times the suffering is prolonged. I cannot see, however, what exactly made the difference. It would be wonderful to have sort of a template to follow, signs to look for and body language or spoken language, to employ that would allow trust-building and relaxation to take place.
Thank you for being a source of helpful information and positivity!
Thank you for your thoughtful inquiry. There are two factors that were massively responsible for the outcome of my life. One is easy for me to recommend. The love of flight animals and the time I spend with them critically causes me to understand the level of tranquility they possess. Also, the factor of fear rears its head when they feel threatened. Tranquility and fear guide their entire life. Anger and acts of violence do not even cross the mind of the typical flight animal. These factors being stated, I can say unequivocally that I recommend becoming deeply acquainted with flight animals. Recognize their needs and their overall personality and you will have fifty percent of what a human needs to be reasonable with themselves and others around them.
The other factor informing my existence was the violent acts of my father in those early years of growing up. His violence was so grave that it tended to cause me to be obsessed with changing my life to create a personality the opposite of what my father was. It isn’t easy and I know that I went through years of flashing to violence on many occasions. The chain of violence is extremely hard to break. Without Sister Agnes Patricia and the horses, I don’t know if I could have been successful in meeting and accepting these concepts. There were times when I simply wanted to hurt other humans. Don’t kid yourself. This is a fact that crosses the brain of every victim of violence I have worked with throughout my nearly 70 years of experience.
Obviously, I would never suggest that parents beat their children so that they see the fallacy of violence. It is also true that I would never recommend to a child that they volunteer to be violently treated so that they can learn to break the chain. These factors must be thought through, studied and accepted into the lives of people who want to lead their existence on this earth in a tranquil fashion and in the absence of violence. Sister Agnes Patricia and The Queen have encouraged me to study these factors and to pass them on to the generations to come. To say that I am proud to be their assistant in this endeavor would be a great understatement. I only wish I would have started earlier and worked harder, but I am trying to make up for it now.
Read the full newsletter: How do you convey safety and build trust?